Doll

By Lindsay Lanigan

Lids click, flip open
Exposing clouded glass, cerulean, vacantly staring
As sooty tears seep through lashes, sodden,
Rivulets run tracks, sluicing down cherubic cheeks, blackened.

Girlhood bedroom ablaze; 
Evocations billow, a blistering black haze
Of the past, charred ash brought back;
Spiraling with a burning vengeance. 
Unleashed, noxious smoke chokes, 
Rolling feverishly from the macabre source:
The pyre of pelts; beloved stuffies melt,
Synthetic fur smolders
Sending showers of furious sparks;
Spilling, igniting the dark, skittering onto the carpet,
Feasting on fibres, the fire swells;
Heat steams pastel pink papered walls,
Bubbles mushroom, pulsate; corners scorch, curl
Unfurl foul memories, sealed away
Left festering for decades;
Fusillade of fireworks leap leap leap to the twin bed,
Singe the hem of the flowered spread;
Flames tickle licking, wildly flickering,
Tease and taste; she lays, arms splayed;
In flannel nightgown, trimmed with lace;
Paralyzed, she prays: 

I want to go home. I want to go home.
This is home.
Not this home.
I want to go home. Far away from this place.

Same, baby girl, same.

 

About the Poet

Lindsay Lanigan

My name is Lindsay Lanigan, and I have been fortunate to call Abbotsford, British Columbia my home for the past 10 years. Originally from Hamilton, Ontario, I attended McMaster University and earned a degree in English and Sociology. Shortly after graduation I headed to Fukuoka, Japan and spent one year teaching English at a private academy. From there, I took a position in Cuenca, Ecuador where I taught ESL again for one year before heading back to my hometown. 

In 2008, I moved to British Columbia with my husband and our beagle. I started my own business and have been tutoring refugees, immigrants, and international students in reading and writing for the past decade. Our family has grown with the adoption of a coonhound, and my husband and I have fallen in love with the beautiful Fraser Valley.

I am an avid reader and have been writing on an off purely for my own enjoyment for years, but recently I decided to try my hand at poetry. In July, 2019, I created an Instagram account @l.a.laniganpoetry where I post poems that I write. My poems are a collection of my personal thoughts, feelings, and observations inspired by nature, social issues, memories, relationships etc. I write what I feel, and I enjoy the challenge of the creative process. I hope to continue writing and sharing my work into the future.

Follow