Ari Lohr

A Poem I Wrote for My Hypothetical Husband While Stoned by Ari Lohr

hi. nice to meet you. my name is Ari. better known as the poet, known as the guy who saw you on tinder once, swiped right, wrote three half-assed similes about you and told you that i was a writer over text. when i say i’m a writer, i mean that i’m awkward. when i say that i’m awkward, i mean i will double-text you a love poem.

apparently, i’m not that good at first dates.
turns out
hiding all your flirting in mixed metaphors
because you’re too scared to talk to people
is a terrible way to continue a conversation
or establish any sort of human connection.
who knew?

some might say i’m a prick but i prefer the term rosebush. i’m cute, flowery, and pink, but at the same time i’m not afraid to cut a bitch. i am the type of guy who calls themselves badass, but gets embarrassed when their cat sees them naked after a shower. sometimes, i fantasize about gravity, write some weird metaphor about saturn, or love, or beg for you to dip me in your wedding ring arms like watch this, like listen to this rising pulse reach crescendo, like each heartbeat i give is a manifesto to breathing, like i love you so much i cannot breathe without being in your orbit, like sometimes, the difference between cardiac arrest and love is simply how poetic it is to write about. when i tell you that no one can write you like i do, i mean when you comfort me in the middle of an anxiety attack, i thank you by exhaling despite being breathless at your touch, by holding hurricanes in my chest and calling you my storm chaser, by not knowing what else to do but make noise, because indecision is the loudest form of silence i know. in that moment, i will tell you i love you for the first time that is not a poem. but what is this if not a poem? what is love if not the lonely language of ink? what is a poem if not the home of the heart’s most violent vocabulary? give me a pen or make me a god – i will love with the same penmanship. when i tell you i love you, i mean that in some stanza, somewhere, we are still sharing our first kiss. that in the space of three lines, our hearts harmonize in 1000 different dialects and swell to the silent song of the same supernova every second. when i write, the paper sings. with a single sonnet, i could serenade the sky to sleep ‘till this night lasts forever. there is no eye in this storm, only us. somewhere, i once saw a bottomless pit and jumped, which is to say that i am always falling for you.

when the sun rises and the ink dries, i’ll press my ear to the page and hear your name thaw in the warm morning air. i’ll text you and say i’m a writer, when, really, i am just braver over a keyboard than in person. i’ll be so crazy and chaotic and weird, but i’ll cherish every minute i spend searching for the right words. when i say that i’m a writer, i mean that every day, i greet the morning with ink, close my eyes and reach out and again, you are right here. i am always too awkward to say anything except

hi. nice to meet you. you know my name already.

<img class="wp-block-coblocks-author__avatar-img" src="; alt="<strong>Ari Lohr
Ari Lohr

Ari Lohr is a wannabe-astronaut-turned-poet attending university in Boston, MA. He is a Brave New Voices semifinalist, and has performed at various regional slams such as Slamlandia, Portland Poetry Slam, Verselandia, and more. Focusing on the symbiotic relationship between gravity, mental health, queer love, and grief, Ari’s poetry appears in the Big Windows Review, Kalopsia Lit, and Incandescent Review, and is set to appear in various publications in 2021 including the Imperial Death Cult. He is also the managing editor for the Bitter Fruit Review magazine, and the editor-in-chief of the Jupiter Review. Ari can be found at or @i.o.jupiter on instagram.

This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links. For more information, see my disclosures here. 

Don't get caught plagiarizing Find your domain and create your site at!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.